Couples with above-average generosity in their marriages reported that they were five times more likely to be ‘very happy’ in their relationship, according to a new study.

Experts say the generosity can be as simple as couple making coffee, giving flowers or physical attention.

‘It’s signaling to your spouse that you know them, and are trying to do things for them that are consistent with your understanding of them,’ said Bradford Wilcox, one of the study’s researchers.

‘Your spouse loves almond mochas, and you get her black coffee instead, it doesn’t count so much toward generosity,’ Wilcox added.

A fulfilling sex life ranked as the single biggest indicator of whether married couples were happy, but high levels of generosity also contributed to good times in the bedroom. This means generosity could be a key to sexual satisfaction and general happiness.

Generosity still seems a proven path to a happy relationship and has to be sensitive for it to work, foremost is to consider your partner’s needs. If your partner enjoys a fancy mocha and you buy black coffee, it doesn’t count.

About 50 percent of women and 46 percent of men with high levels of generosity in their marriages reported being ‘very happy.’

By contrast, just 14 percent of couples who did not have high generosity were happy.
The survey examined 1,400 straight couples with children between the ages of 18 and 46.

The researchers compiled a list of five elements most likely to make a marriage happy: Sexual satisfaction was first, followed by a sense of commitment.

Generosity and a positive attitude toward the couple’s children were important, as well. Women also need social support from friends and family and men need spirituality within the marriage, the researchers found.

It is believed that animals usually the females release this chemical to attract their potential mates.

It is also for this reason that the perfume industry are capitalizing on pheromone as a way to increase one’s sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals like the whales and the musk deer were hunted down for this chemical.

Moreover, scientists are now determining the existence of pheromone in humans. If there is one, how important its role in mate determination.

However, there had been many conflicting opinions in the field of biology,chemistry, genetics and psychology noted.

Most scientists believed that pheromone does not exist in humans but a new research that is conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind has suggested it otherwise and that had made these scientists reassessed their stand.

The Swiss experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period.

It has been found that women prefer the smell of men’s shirt that were genetically different in which such preference and approach were noted as with close resemblance to animals.

But researchers cautioned that preference for a male odor is also affected by women ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products and the use of contraceptive pills.

In the perception of human personality, a research has been conducted by E.C.Klohnen and S.Lou in 2003 regarding interpersonal attraction and personality where it has been found that a person’s sense of self security and at least the person’s perception of his or her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations.

That there is a preference of certain personality type that a person is attracted to which can only be verified through time and close interaction.

It is the perception as to why a person is attracted to a potential partner whether that person of your affection truly has the kind of personality or not.

This could be attributable to the statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationship due to incompatibility.

It has been said that attraction is a prelude or a factor towards a relationship to begin with. But attraction alone cannot make a relationship work.

It is the attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. What is more significant are common shared values, dreams, and passions that really matter in long-term relationships.

More than trying to become physically attractive, you need to work on all aspects of your life, be it health, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor though. It is still your disposition to choose your partner that may deem suit to your own personal interest.

Remember, that common sense, predisposes you to choose the partner with the healthiest genes and where you are at ease and emotionally compatible to be with. As far as emotion is concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about himself or herself? Probably not!

There is wisdom in knowing yourself of who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. Do not pretend to be someone when you are not. Fooling another person by making him or her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in almost all aspects of your life, attractiveness becomes moot and academic.

As outlined in the Klohnen and Luo’s research, a person’s sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. Just remember that you do these things not for other people but for yourself. Only then can you truly harness of being attractive as a person.

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Herewith, are some tips:

a) Get her attention – You have to attract the woman’s attention, in order to get her notice of you. It is a challenging task though, for a man can do, but it is not close to impossible. If you cannot be able to attract woman’s attention, then you are not going to be able to do anything at all to get anywhere with her.

b) Start something that interest her – Don’t be shy to start with a conversation. Be confident and let it work at your own advantage. Talk to her in a casual mode, as if she is your long time friend. Focus your conversation on subject where she is much of interest and comfortable to discuss with. Conduct your conversation in a give and take interaction to acquaint with each other. Be a good listener.

c) Display your true self – Be a gentleman, someone that can be dependable and have a sense of humor to make the conversation going. Though it would be your first encounter, you have to explore the possibilities of what are those common interest the same as what you have that made you interested of her. Remember that compatibility start with ideas of common interest. A woman needs to see why she should give you her time over any other guys. You have to inject some humor to make your conversation, a lively one. Make her feel that you are the guy she chooses to spend with her for the moment.

d) Let her hooked into you – Now you know her interest and what made her tick to you. You have to exploit the situation to make your conversation longer and interesting. Concentrate on topics of mutual discussion, topics that do not only interest her but you as well. In a good mutual relationship compatibility of so many things is a good reckoning point. However, If you are wanting a lasting relationship, you have to be able to get your hooks into her and make her want to stay around you.

The least thing that you would not want to occur is to have her just walk away after you already get her attention. To get her hooked to you, you have to be able to show to her of why she needs to stay around you.

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It takes two to tango to get married but it takes one to change it., a marriage counselor once said. Psychologists say that the roots of marital disenchantment are usually express shortly after marriage.

When reality sets in over fantasy; where adjustment period reveals others’ imperfections; shortcomings suddenly take an ominous dimension; one union reverts to two identities as the fantasy of romantic oneness begins to fade; requests become demand and rudeness replaces romance. These are the basic realities of marriage at its worst we need to face.

Notwithstanding, that what marriage hurts most is unresolved anger. The greatest killer of love and marriage is anger that is stored in the heart. Anger is a continuous build up of little embers of frustrations, hurts and fears. If we don’t resolve them, they simply kill the love that was once there. Anger can do a lot of change in the heart and at worst, love can fail. Then divorce, separation and disintegration is inevitable.

However, there is always hope to hopelessness. You alone can make or unmake your marriage. You alone can put back the romance that was once there. But how? Herewith, are some helpful tips to wit:

*** You need to face the reality that you married a human being and not an angel, with all the faults and imperfections that comes with it. Self direction helps, by rather demanding that your mate change for you, why not ask your mate what he or she would like you to change. It’s never easy to admit to personal faults and shortcomings but when ask for them to be pointed out and take concrete steps to change them, the situation improves to both partners.

*** Understanding your mate’s needs, requires a certain sensitivity to his or her needs. Showing lots of love and kindness through simple thing like saying “I love you”. It should be mutual. Each one needs to be showered with constant affection and thoughtfulness. Lest to forget, that communication is vital to any relationship. We should learn to communicate our feelings to our mates by sharing each other thoughts and love.

*** A Couple needs time to have fun, say by going to the beach or a simple strolling in the park, shopping mall or things they enjoy most, help the couple to rekindle the romance back to their otherwise stale marriage. It help them bond emotionally and revitalize the couple’s relationship overnight.

*** Wife, sometimes need a pat on the shoulders, a hug or a kiss is which is a meaningful and romantic way to communicate your love. A token of appreciation to his or her thoughtfulness. Even a smile, a nod of affirmation helps to make a wife feels appreciated and loved.

*** Differences as strengths, no two human beings are exactly the same, physically we may appear similar in many ways but emotionally many differences lie hidden within. We would always look the bright side of your mate, that your mates differences as strength rather than a liability.

*** Nurture the relationship, good relationship don’t just happened, they are cultivated. The good ones are sustained by good works. To bear the fruit of a happy marriage, requires a personal investment of time, interest and diligence. After all, success of marital union is a mutual undertaking by couple who put their time and effort to make it works.

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However, it should not have to go that far if both parties should sit down and consider a separation for a period of time instead. In such an extraordinary scenario, people involved are advised not to make any major decision especially if their feelings are on an emotional roller coaster.

During the trial separation relationship, the couple does not have to completely separate with each other, sometimes the separation within the home is sufficient. This decision is for people who ultimately want to stay together but who wanted to figure it out on how it is to no longer live together.

Most often too much togetherness is sometimes the cause of the problem. For couples who don’t subscribe to the idea of staying together can opt for an actual separation which is highly recommended. Such an option allows both parties to go their own ways once the trial separation started.

The couple should talk and resolve which one of them to move out on their shared domain. It is imperative that each one is honest with each other when arriving to this decision and have to be considerate in dealing with each other during the separation.

Typically, only one of the parties concerned considers a separation. A solution to this problem in a relationship is usually not easy for such a situation to relate to the other party.

The best thing to do is to think everything over in advance what to say just in case the discussion becomes unpleasant. It must be clear from the outset what you wanted to achieve with the trial separation and what motivates you to decide and seek it.

During the entire situation one has to avoid negative statement or anything that may sounds like an accusation and usually end up in a quarrel. A more careful use of words is used so as not to jeopardize the status quo. How each party make use of their separation time depends on the goal of the time apart.

If the relationship has to continue after the separation, the couple must deal with their issues during their time apart. If either of the party doesn’t miss each other it signifies that the separation is imminent. If either of the party can get the other out of their mind it can signify that the relationship can be restarted.