The experience of delightful sense of togetherness is one of the many reasons of why people marry.
It takes two to tango to get married but it takes one to change it., a marriage counselor once said. Psychologists say that the roots of marital disenchantment are usually express shortly after marriage.
When reality sets in over fantasy; where adjustment period reveals others’ imperfections; shortcomings suddenly take an ominous dimension; one union reverts to two identities as the fantasy of romantic oneness begins to fade; requests become demand and rudeness replaces romance. These are the basic realities of marriage at its worst we need to face.
Notwithstanding, that what marriage hurts most is unresolved anger. The greatest killer of love and marriage is anger that is stored in the heart. Anger is a continuous build up of little embers of frustrations, hurts and fears. If we don’t resolve them, they simply kill the love that was once there. Anger can do a lot of change in the heart and at worst, love can fail. Then divorce, separation and disintegration is inevitable.
However, there is always hope to hopelessness. You alone can make or unmake your marriage. You alone can put back the romance that was once there. But how? Herewith, are some helpful tips to wit:
*** You need to face the reality that you married a human being and not an angel, with all the faults and imperfections that comes with it. Self direction helps, by rather demanding that your mate change for you, why not ask your mate what he or she would like you to change. It’s never easy to admit to personal faults and shortcomings but when ask for them to be pointed out and take concrete steps to change them, the situation improves to both partners.
*** Understanding your mate’s needs, requires a certain sensitivity to his or her needs. Showing lots of love and kindness through simple thing like saying “I love you”. It should be mutual. Each one needs to be showered with constant affection and thoughtfulness. Lest to forget, that communication is vital to any relationship. We should learn to communicate our feelings to our mates by sharing each other thoughts and love.
*** A Couple needs time to have fun, say by going to the beach or a simple strolling in the park, shopping mall or things they enjoy most, help the couple to rekindle the romance back to their otherwise stale marriage. It help them bond emotionally and revitalize the couple’s relationship overnight.
*** Wife, sometimes need a pat on the shoulders, a hug or a kiss is which is a meaningful and romantic way to communicate your love. A token of appreciation to his or her thoughtfulness. Even a smile, a nod of affirmation helps to make a wife feels appreciated and loved.
*** Differences as strengths, no two human beings are exactly the same, physically we may appear similar in many ways but emotionally many differences lie hidden within. We would always look the bright side of your mate, that your mates differences as strength rather than a liability.
*** Nurture the relationship, good relationship don’t just happened, they are cultivated. The good ones are sustained by good works. To bear the fruit of a happy marriage, requires a personal investment of time, interest and diligence. After all, success of marital union is a mutual undertaking by couple who put their time and effort to make it works.